10 Reasons Why You Should NEVER Visit Malaysia

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So you want to visit Malaysia?  Somehow the Southeast Asian country has popped up on your radar, or you’re just in the neighbourhood and think it’s worth a stamp in your passport do you?  Well thank goodness you found this article first, because i’m here to tell you 10 reasons why you should NEVER visit Malaysia.

But how can you trust my opinion?

Well, I’ve only spent the last 13 months living in this awful country and my wife and I have travelled all over it, going up and down desperately searching for places worthy of a photograph, or a story…We’re still living here in fact, barely scraping out a living, wallowing in the filth and not having fun at all. All for your sake.

Perhaps the best way to show you why you should NEVER visit Malaysia is to recruit my Instagram feed, but at the end of the day you’ll need to judge for yourself.

Without further adieu…

1. MALAYSIA HAS THE WORST BEACHES. EVER.

This beach is obviously not where you want to spend your vacation. Pulau Besar, Mersing.

This beach is obviously not where you want to spend your vacation. Pulau Besar, Mersing.

An unhappy scene, also Pulau Besar, Mersing.

An unhappy scene, also Pulau Besar, Mersing.

Disappointing shades of blue. Salang, Tioman Island.

Disappointing shades of blue. Salang, Tioman Island.

2. MALAYSIAN PEOPLE ARE LAZY.

A elderly man would rather play with boxes than work. Malacca.

A elderly man would rather play with boxes than work. Malacca.

Providing fish for his family and teaching his younger children his trade…Supposedly. Endau, Johor.

Providing fish for his family and teaching his younger children his trade…Supposedly. Endau, Johor.

3. MALAYSIA HAS THE WORST SUNSETS.

I mean, these holidaymakers aren’t even taking sunset selfies. Tekek, Tioman Island.

I mean, these holidaymakers aren’t even taking sunset selfies. Tekek, Tioman Island.

Where is the beauty? Rice paddies in Air Papan, Johor.

Where is the beauty? Rice paddies in Air Papan, Johor.

Just an ordinary sunset from Salang, Tioman Island.

Just an ordinary sunset from Salang, Tioman Island.

4. AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE SUNRISE’S. 

A sad and lonely girl in Juara, Tioman Island.

A sad and lonely girl in Juara, Tioman Island.

At least the water is warm enough for morning swims. Teluk Cempendak Beach, Kuantan, Pahang.

At least the water is warm enough for morning swims. Teluk Cempendak Beach, Kuantan, Pahang.

All alone on TC Beach, Kuantan from the Hyatt Regency.

All alone on TC Beach, Kuantan from the Hyatt Regency.

5. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO CULTURE / HISTORY IN MALAYSIA.

Morbid scenes from the oldest Chinese temple in Malacca.

Morbid scenes from the oldest Chinese temple in Malacca.

St Pauls in Malacca, built in 1521.

St Pauls in Malacca, built in 1521.

Father and son at an Indian wedding ceremony.

Father and son at an Indian wedding ceremony.

6. ALL THE FORESTS ARE GONE. ONLY PALM TREE PLANTATIONS REMAIN.

Nope, not enough trees here. Kubah National Park, Sarawak, Borneo Island.

Nope, not enough trees here. Kubah National Park, Sarawak, Borneo Island.

River Safari on the Kinabatagan River, Sabah, Borneo Island.

River Safari on the Kinabatagan River, Sabah, Borneo Island.

7. THE PEOPLE HERE ARE SO UNFRIENDLY.

Hostile Malaysian youths.

Hostile Malaysian youths.

So unfriendly. Tengah Island, Johor.

So unfriendly. Tengah Island, Johor.

8. MALAYSIA HAS NO COFFEE CULTURE.

No one serves a good coffee here. Alley no. 5, Malacca.

No one serves a good coffee here. Alley no. 5, Malacca.

And there just aren’t any interesting coffee shops to spend a morning at. Limau Limau, Malacca.

And there just aren’t any interesting coffee shops to spend a morning at. Limau Limau, Malacca.

9. KUALA LUMPUR, THE TWIN TOWERS? OVERRATED.

I mean look at those colourful fountains swaying to the music. Who would want to be there?

I mean look at those colourful fountains swaying to the music. Who would want to be there?

The city clearly has no street culture, no vibe or artists. Akid_One, Kuala Lumpur.

The city clearly has no street culture, no vibe or artists. Akid_One, Kuala Lumpur.

10. YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING OUTDOORS IN MALAYSIA.

The water just isn’t clear enough to snorkel. Salang, Tioman Island.

The water just isn’t clear enough to snorkel. Salang, Tioman Island.

No fun was had here. Supping in Juara ,Tioman Island

No fun was had here. Supping in Juara ,Tioman Island

The most terrifying experience of my life. Rock climbing behind the Batu Caves, Kuala Lumpur

The most terrifying experience of my life. Rock climbing behind the Batu Caves, Kuala Lumpur

Justifiably, this kid thinks we are completely nuts. Supping on Lake Tasik Biru, Selangor (30 minutes from KL) with Oxbold Adventures.

Justifiably, this kid thinks we are completely nuts. Supping on Lake Tasik Biru, Selangor (30 minutes from KL) with Oxbold Adventures.

Now that you’ve seen the evidence for yourself you’ve probably realised that I’m being wildly sarcastic. The title should probably read: 10 reasons why you absolutely HAVE TO visit Malaysia.

There is so much beauty, culture and warmth here that if you are in the neighbourhood, you would be doing yourself an injustice not to stop over and even if you aren’t, Malaysia has some of the best islands and beaches in the world and the life underwater is just spectacular. Scuba divers have known about Malaysia forever but the rest of you probably haven’t.

It’s not just about the island’s and beaches however, (though admittedly they are our favourites) the first places we fell in love with were Penang, Malacca and even Kuala Lumpur.

So come on over and say hi to us!

News Source:(Vaughan McShane)

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